Jack's Path
We‘re on the airplane now taking Jack to Montana Academy. MA
is a therapeutic boarding school 30 minutes from Kalispell. He’ll be there for
a year, at least. While there he’ll learn how to be a good student, at least in
the context of the American school environment. He hasn’t been that for a long
time.
So, why is Jack going to a therapeutic boarding school? Let
me set it up.
Jack is the younger of my two children. He’s 15 years old
and very bright. When he was in his early grades at the Friends’ School in
Boulder, Colorado, he displayed exceptional intelligence. He was verbally
gifted, always able to communicate and relate well with others, including
adults. He also grasped concepts easily and showed an enthusiastic curiosity.
He presented himself as a leader, to the extent that one can in first and
second grade, despite his diminutive stature. Academically things seemed to be
headed in the right direction. A real “the sky’s the limit” story
When Jack was in third grade we moved to the Vail Valley so
I could take a job with the Vail Ski and Snowboard School. While Jack’s older
sister Kate adjusted easily to her new surroundings, Jack struggled. He showed
resistance to the move beforehand and after the fact. His new school, Red
Sandstone Elementary, is structured in the traditional format. The teacher,
under-paid and less skilled than those at Friends’, stood in front of the
desks, lined up in neat rows, and delivered the day’s lessons. A worksheet or
two supported his or her efforts and on they went. This brand of teaching
didn’t support Jack’s borderline ADD profile.
The first signs of trouble appeared in the form of
resistance to going to school. In the first couple of years that we lived in
the Valley, Jack woke up with “symptoms” of illness several times a month only
to recover fully by the afternoon after having stayed home for the day. The
work was simple, he could complete the homework easily, he was happy – we
weren’t concerned.
Socially, things weren’t much better. We were living in
Minturn, a town a couple of miles down valley and two miles off of I-70. This isolated him geographically. There
weren’t kids in the neighborhood with whom he could go out and play. His small
stature also made him a target for bullying. Some of the people in the Valley
are working so hard to stay there that they lack the time and sensitivity to
guide their kids towards being compassionate friends. The youth sports programs
are very competitive because people that move to Eagle County are competitive.
Jack was treated with a mean spirit even by some of the kids on his teams.
By fifth grade Jack’s disconnect with school had reached the
point that we had him tested for intelligence and learning deficits. It didn’t
make sense that a child with such obvious intelligence could be struggling so
much with school. The tests results showed Jack possessed a very high IQ, some
degree of ADD and an apparent weakness in his executive functioning. Though he
is smart, very smart, he has a difficult time putting information in order. I’m
not sure I fully understand the problem so explaining it isn’t easy. Simply
put, Jack didn’t want to engage in school because the energy required for him
to so was enormous. Knowing that he was “smart” but not feeling able to succeed
was crushing his self-esteem. The downward spiral had begun.
Please give;
http://www.skysthelimitfund.org/
Please give;
http://www.skysthelimitfund.org/
Labels: adolescent psychology, adolescents, at-risk youth, family, family therapy, parenting, teenagers, teens, therapeutic boarding school, troubled teens, wilderness therapy, youngest child
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